Its 4:46 and I have been awake since 3 am. It’s hot like summer and I’ve been lying in bed thinking too much and of course growing increasingly frustrated that I can’t sleep. I thought about writing, but I didn’t want to acknowledge that I was really truly awake and not going back to sleep. … Continue reading »
Thoughts on “the D Word”
Last week felt like the lowest I’ve been in a long time. But by the end of it, I was like, “Hang on, something has to change. I cannot live like this.” The reality is, most suffering is optional. Life is messy and complicated, and relationships have the potential to lift us to new heights … Continue reading »
My Hero Girl
A couple months ago, I was putting Meira to bed one night and she just didn’t want to go to sleep. We’d been through the bedtime rituals in entirety, and she had initially been cooperative when I said goodnight and gently closed the door behind me. But a few minutes later she called out, and … Continue reading »
Just You
Nemo is making his way through the area and I am holed up enjoying the quiet. It’s my second Friday off, and already my life seems so different with a little space to breathe. I have been writing posts in my head all week, but haven’t had the resources to get them down. Monday morning … Continue reading »
Microblogging on Minibreaks
I am pacing in the crowded laundromat, with twenty-eight minutes until the clothes are ready to be switched to the dryer. Usually I am here with Meira on our Wednesday morning laundry dates, but since I have time today, I thought I’d get my stuff done. Twenty-seven minutes. I have pockets of time … Continue reading »
Back on the Wagon
I am blogging again, apparently. I went to the doctor yesterday and she said I needed an outlet. Actually, it was the nurse who took my medical history and vitals. We were going over my reasons for the visit. Apart from the obvious one, that I haven’t seen a doctor, except for baby-related issues, in … Continue reading »
Pints and Peanuts
I was at work yesterday, standing at a cash register, chatting with customers as I scanned and bagged their groceries. I am new there, and there are like two hundred and fifty employees, so I am always introducing myself to another unfamiliar face. I’d seen the guy on the register behind me before, but I … Continue reading »
Dark Night in the Desert
I’ve been thinking about this post for a long time. It seems so many people need to hear it. I know I did. What I write about today is not completely original, but I’ve explored and experienced enough to share it from my deepest heart. First off, let me give credit to Frank Viola, who wrote … Continue reading »
More Stuff I am Thinking About
“Before the truth sets you free, it tends to make you miserable.” Richard Rohr Amen. I can attest to that. Finding truth is sometimes painful. I remember a very significant finding I had earlier this year. May-ish. It was a Friday afternoon and Chris was off work, so we split the day to give us … Continue reading »
Things I am Thinking About
I’ve never been able to do cliques, and even find crowds difficult. What I mean is that I’ve always sort of floated between people sets. I like them all. I find people fascinating regardless of gender, age, background… I fall in love with people all the time, men and women, young and old. (Not the … Continue reading »
Be malleable. Bend.
The playwright Stephen Adly Guirgis just posted this on his FB page, and I had to repost here. Ah, thank you, Mr Guirgis. Life is infinitely more resourceful than you, And you are a mystery to yourself until the end So when things feel truly fucked Hang in there. On humble volition You can depend. The … Continue reading »
Forsaking Fear
It is very hard not to write volumes during this time. Not that I can’t write at all, of course I can journal or write things I keep to myself. But I am a social creature – I crave interaction – and when I spend time pouring out my thoughts its more torture not to … Continue reading »
Who Am I?
I have always loved this poem by Dietrich Bonhoeffer. Though I cannot claim a fraction of his suffering, I have somehow always identified deeply with these words. Never more than at the present. I wish I could write everything now, it seems to be the only way to bridge the gap between the separate parts … Continue reading »
